As You Wish (Posts tagged rape)

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
misandry-mermaid
cliche-resister

A couple of weeks ago, The Independent ran an article on male victims of domestic violence. There were some factual inaccuracies in the report along with the use of the statistic that one in three victims of domestic abuse in Britain is male. I challenged these on twitter. I received the response below from a professional referenced in the article

alan idva3

But I’m not going to move on. I’d prefer to talk about this statistic because it is unhelpful at best, it is derailing and dangerous at worst.

The claim of gender parity in domestic violence, or at least of much less difference than is conventionally believed, is nothing new, in fact it’s been popping up – and out of the mouths of Men’s Rights Activists – since at least the 1970ies.  No matter how often or how robustly ‘gender symmetry’ claims are rebuffed and refuted, its advocates continue to regurgitate their position.

‘A third of all victims of abuse are male’

The data referenced, that approximately a third of victims of domestic abuse in the UK are male comes from data from the British Crime Survey. It contrasts significantly from data from police crime reports which estimate that between 80-90% of violence against the person reported is by women assaulted by men.

The main problems with the statistic that a third of reports are by men are

  • It is about domestic abuse and/or conflict, not domestic violence
  • The data does not differentiate between cases where there is one incident of physical conflict/abuse/violence or those where violence is repeated. If we look at the data for where there have been four or more incidents, then approximately 80% of victims are women
  • The data does not differentiate between incidents where violence and abuse are used as systematic means of control and coercion and where they are not
  • The data does not include sexual assault and sexual violence
  • The data does not take account of the different levels of severity of abuse/violence, ‘gender symmetry’ is clustered at lower levels of violence
  • The data does not take account of the impact of violence, whether the level of injury arising from the violence or the level of fear. Women are six times more likely to need medical attention for injuries resulting from violence and are much more likely to be afraid
  • The data does not differentiate between acts of primary aggression and self-defence, approximately three quarters of violence committed by women is done in self-defence or is retaliatory.

In fact, if these issues are taken into account, research consistently finds that violence is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men against women and levels are consistent with data of reports from the police. This is supported by data from the Crown Prosecution Service that shows that across the five years between 2007/8 and 2011/12, 93.4% of those convicted for crimes relating to domestic violence were men.

Looking at sexual offences

43,869 sexual offences were recorded by police in England and Wales in 2011/12.

In the same year:

  • 96.7% of cautions issues for sexual offences were to males
  • 98.2% of prosecutions for sexual offences were against males
  • 99% of convictions for those found guilty of sexual offences were male

54% of UK rapes are committed by a woman’s current or former partner.

But that doesn’t mean that there is gender parity if sexual offences are excluded from consideration.

‘It’s harder for men to report, there’s much more of a taboo for men’

Exactly the opposite:

  • men are more – not less – likely to call the police
  • men are more likely – not less – to support a prosecution
  • men are less likely – not more – to drop charges.1

Another way to get round the issue of unrepresentative reporting is to look at who gets killed, dead people don’t get the choice of whether or not to inform the police. UK Homicide records between 2001/2 and 2011/12 (11 years) show that on average 5.7% (296 total) of male homicide victims and 44.2%(1066) of female homicide victims are killed by a partner or ex-partner. Expressed as an average of those killed by a partner or former partner over 11 years, 22% were men, 78% were women.

Note, the domestic homicide figures do not tell us the sex of the perpetrator, nor is the sex of the perpetrator revealed for all other types of homicide. Men are overwhelmingly killed by other men – regardless of the relationship between victim and perpetrator. Women are overwhelmingly killed by men – regardless of the relationship between victim and perpetrator

‘Maybe the police see what they expect to see, gender stereotypes mean that men are more likely to be perceived as the aggressor’

Except that they’re not. Research by Marianne Hester (2009), found that women were arrested to a disproportionate degree given the fewer incidents where they were perpetrators. During a six year study period men were arrested one in every ten incidents, women were arrested one in every three incidents.

When women do use violence, they are at risk of greater levels or retaliatory violence.

Women are penalised, not excused, not invisible, if they transgress gender stereotypes.

‘Women make false allegations’

Except when they don’t and in the vast majority of cases they don’t.

The Crown Prosecution Service recently released data from a 17 month period in which there were 5,651 prosecutions for rape and 111,891 for domestic violence in England and Wales. Over the same timescale, there were only 35 prosecutions for making false allegations of rape, six for false allegations of domestic violence and three that involved false allegations of both rape and domestic violence.

‘Women exaggerate’

Women overestimate their own use of violence but underestimate their victimisation. Women normalise, discount, minimise, excuse their partners’ domestic and sexual violence against them. Women find ways to make it their fault.

In contrast, men overestimate their victimisation and underestimate their own violence.Men are more likely to exaggerate a women’s provocation or violence to make excuses for initiating violence and, where retaliation has occurred, in an attempt to make it appear understandable and reasonable. Paul Keene, used the defence of provocation for his killing of Gaby Miron Buchacra. His defence claimed that he was belittled by her intellectual superiority and that he lost control after rowing with her by text over a twelve hour period. That a jury accepted his defence is a further example of how men’s violence is minimised and excused. Not only by men and the women they assault, but by the legal system. The right to claim abuse as a mitigating factor in domestic violence homicide cases was vitally important for women like Kiranjit Aluwahlia, Emma Humphreys and Sara Thornton, all of whom had suffered years of violence and abuse at the hands of the men they killed. That such a defence could be used in Paul Keene’s case only illustrates how differently women and men who use violence are treated.

A radical feminist perspective, based on an understanding of socially constructed gender roles and differences within the framework of patriarchal society does not mean that all men are violent to women, or that men are genetically pre-disposed to violence. It means the opposite. It means that women and men are socialised and that – within the limits of choice permitted by the social environment – we can choose to be different.

Whether coming from an anti-feminist Men’s Right Activist perspective, or from a
genuine desire to support those men who are victims of domestic or sexual violence, those who use statistics that overstate similarities between male and female violence are either doing so wilfully, to pursue their own agenda, or because they genuinely haven’t taken the time to – or have failed to – understand the statistics.

I have no desire to deny any man’s reality. Denying women’s much greater suffering as victims of domestic and/or sexual violence is a political act. The differences between men and women’s use of violence and experiences of victimisation do not need to be denied or minimised for all victims to be deserving of safety and support. It is quite possible to believe that no woman, child, or man deserves to be a victim of sexual or domestic violence (or indeed of any other type of violence) whist maintaining a feminist agenda to end women’s oppression.

Footnotes

1 Kimmel 2002

2Dobash et al. 1998

rape rape tw rape apologia long post
misandry-mermaid

Anonymous asked:

"when it’s mainly feminists who are defending these victims…" KEKEKE feminists routinely throw male rape victims under the bus and don't even fucking realize it 90% of the time. There are feminists who say "men can't be raped". There are a LOT of feminists who perpetuate the incorrect idea that rape is a gendered issue or who constantly erase male victims. Don't pretend that feminists give a shit about them, because they've only ever made it worse (and never better).

imhoes answered:

This is so funny because almost every single time I’ve ever seen anyone saying men can’t be raped it’s been other men and almost every time I’ve ever seen male victims being altruistically and genuinely supported it’s been by feminists. In my public speaking class I (and two other women, one of whom was a feminist) argued for a good half hour with three guys about how men can be and frequently are victims of rape/sexual assault to the point that I had an anxiety attack I was so frustrated with them. I’ve never seen anyone go harder for male rape victims than feminists. Whenever I see MRAs or meninists talking about it, they’re just using them as tools to advance their anti-feminist agenda (which is what both of those movements boil down to in the end tbh) instead of just focusing on them as victims who need support and resources.
Here’s the thing: A good majority of what people claim they know about feminists is bullshit they get from TERFs and anti-SJWs masquerading as feminists. Feminism since it began has been fought at every turn and there’s always been a practically nationally-led smear campaign against feminism. For whatever reason, everyone has always wanted to tarnish the name of feminism and delegitimize the feminist movement and technology makes it 1000x easier than ever before. Are there legitimately feminists who claim men can’t be raped? Of course there are. A hefty majority of people probably believe that men can’t be raped and that’s a very, very unfortunate and sad byproduct of the society we’re brought up in. But I can assure you that there are a hell of a lot more non-feminist-identifying men claiming that men can’t be victims of sexual violence than there are feminists saying so. Rape/sexual assault is not a male-female issue. It is a victim-aggressor issue. Rape in general is a crime that’s brushed under the rug and ignored and for men and women the reasons for that are different (women are asking for it and men always want sex no matter what period etc) and that’s not the fault of feminists.
Feminists are not making anything worse for male victims. Feminist theory is the only reliable resources I’ve found for actually tackling the issue of trivializing and invalidating the issue of male rape because of its attention to the social aspect of the invalidation of rape victims and how gender roles play into the whole ordeal. Without tackling gender roles, there’s no way that male victims will be able to achieve the recognition and support that they so desperately need. And who are the ones fighting to dismantle harmful gender roles? Feminists.
I hate this pissing contest that goes on between feminists and non-feminists about who cares about male rape victims more because it’s literally objectifying them and turning them into nothing but mere tools when they are actual people who are suffering and hurting and need the support of everyone, feminist-identifying or not.
And did you happen to actually look at any of the pictures on that post? All but two of the people saying that men can’t be raped were men and the only people actively criticizing the rapist were other women. Those were mostly men throwing male rape victims under the bus and making things worse for them, not women or feminists.
You can keep being all bitter and annoying if you want to be, but that doesn’t do anything to change the fact that it’s not feminists who are throwing male rape victims under the bus.

ask-an-mra-anything

this is the best post I’ve found on this subject: http://the-unpopular-opinions.tumblr.com/post/83672441343/warning-this-opinion-is-about-rape-hello

It seems overwhelmingly to be the case that feminists are the ones saying, “men can be raped” whereas anti-feminists run around shouting, “men can be raped, too!!! But you’ll never see these third wave tumblr feminasty tumblrina sjws talk about this!!!!!!!!”

This is for several reasons, but first and foremost that one of the very core values of feminism is the concept of bodily autonomy. Feminism is fundamentally built on the belief that you have the right to control what happens to your body. It follows, therefore, that feminists support male victims of rape because, hey, that’s the right thing to do, to support them because they need it

Anti-feminists, however, are more focused on just that - their anti-feminism. They’re so caught up in the straw feminist that they’ve created - and as has already pointed out this has been the case since the inception of the movement - that they see male victims as weapons to be used against feminists rather than people that deserve compassion and support. It’s like they see a male victim on the street, grab them by the arms, and crowd surf them to the front of their angry mob where they shove the victims in the face of feminists shouting, “SEE!!! SEE WHAT YOU ARE IGNORING????”

There are interesting hypocrisies evident in the anti-feminist position of “men can be raped too” as well, and some of it has already been touched on. Whenever a news article comes up about a female teacher raping a male student, it always seems to be vehemently anti-feminist men who nudge and wink at each other and remark “man I wish I’d had a teacher like that when I was a kid, I might have paid more attention in class. Lucky bastard.” It’s anti-feminist men largely who perpetuate the idea that men want/need sex all the time, and this is an idea that hurts pretty much everybody.

Who do I see primarily reassuring men that arousal does not equal consent?

Feminists

Who do I see primarily reassuring men that just because you had an erection, that doesn’t mean you “wanted it”?

feminists.

Because feminism works to tear down these harmful gender ideas. Feminism works to help men become liberated from the bullshit our society teaches them about what constitutes a “real man”. Feminism works to ensure that rape victims can feel comfortable seeking help, not bottling up their feelings, not blaming themselves, not worrying that maybe they somehow “wanted it”, etc..

The other hypocrisy I’ve noticed is that anti-feminists that shout, “men can be raped, too!!!!” Also seem to be the ones that think false rape allegations are some fucking rampant epidemic and therefore disbelieve 99.99999% of all female rape victims that come forward, pushing this narrative that they’re “crazy bitches” looking to “ruin some innocent man’s life”. I find it really interesting that anti-feminists are so adamant that we supposedly ignore male victims of rape, but they piss all over female victims.

It’s almost as though they only care about rape victims in so far as they can use them to further their misogynist agenda hmmmmmmmmm

Also I’ve noticed that whenever anyone starts off with “kekekeke”, you can rest assured that literally everything that follows is going to be utter horse shit
Source: imhoes
rape rape tw long post
sickdyke
likeadeadchinadoll

and for those interested, you can find the report HERE

jadelyn

Just in case any dudebros are unclear on what this means: it means that your buddy who totally just had some bitch trying to ruin his life by accusing him of rape…almost certainly actually did rape her.  

Just keep that in mind.

boldmatter

Yeah man, imagine that, bitches don’t be lying.

rememberyes

Can we put this into context? It means that 99.4% of rape allegations are true

skyliting

It means that 99.4% of rape allegations are true.

babyslime

When you read through and learn about those 0.6% who did make false allegations, there are some seriously important things to note. Firstly :

“Furthermore, the report shows that a significant number of these cases involved young, often vulnerable people. About half of the cases involved people aged 21 years old and under, and some involved people with mental health difficulties. In some cases, the person alleged to have made the false report had undoubtedly been the victim of some kind of offence (sic), even if not the one which he or she had reported.
And then, when you get into the case studies you find things like a 14 year old girl sleeping with an 18 year old. When discovered, she claimed the sex was non-consensual in fear of her father’s disapproval, but investigation of texts and emails found that to be untrue. THAT SAID, the 18 year old was found to have a history of pursuing and seducing many very young girls, and once he was counseled he expressed not only regret over his actions, but the knowledge that he was
purposefully picking vulnerable girls who could be easily manipulated into consent.

Another case was a married couple, where the wife claimed rape and domestic violence, so the husband was arrested and held. After some contact between the two while he was incarcerated, she went back to him and wanted the charges dropped. It’s okay because she still loves him. When the DA decided to keep going, she suddenly said that she made it up and he never raped her at all.
Further counseling revealed that the allegations were true, but she didn’t want to be without him so she lied about the allegations being false.
I don’t know about you, but this kind of sounds like classic domestic violence, and the kind of patterns you get into after living with an abuser. The point I’m trying to make is that even though there are 0.6% false claims… when you break them down you find that there’s generally a lot of skeevy shit going on, and like the above quote, many of the alleged rape victims are actual victims of other abuses. For some of them, I’m guessing that an allegation of rape was the only way to bring enough attention to their abuse to finally get protection by law enforcement, or enough care from family to be freed from their abusive situations and moved somewhere safe. Some are mentally ill and have been taken advantage of, or are victims of statutory rape because they are not even remotely mature enough to truly consent to a sexual relationship with an adult.
These cases aren’t just as simple as, “some bitch regretted sex and cried rape”.
thank you important rape rape tw long post
misandry-mermaid
When anti-sex work activists claim that all sex work is rape, they don’t just ignore the labor; they excuse the actual rape of sex workers. If men can do whatever they want when they buy sex, the rape of sex workers, of those who are thought to have no consent to give anyway, isn’t understood by opponents as an aberration but as somehow intrinsic and inevitable.
Melissa Gira Grant (an actual retired sex worker) from her book “Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work” (via evolvingmatter)
Source: academicfeminist
sex work rape rape tw rape apologia
misandry-mermaid

how to be a “real rape victim” on the internet

samanticshift

-don’t joke about anything that happened to you. black humor is only okay when rape apologists do it.

-don’t be too serious or ~melodramatic~. only liars do that.

-report the rape(s). if you don’t, you’re a liar.

-don’t report the rape(s). if you do, you’re a liar trying to destroy a young man’s life. :( (yes, young man. false accusers are always women, and the falsely accused are always men.)

-make sure the rape involves physical restraint/violence. if it doesn’t, it’s not real.

-make sure the rape doesn’t fall into any tropes or come off as “sensational” in any way, bc then it’s obviously made-up.

-don’t be a feminist. feminists don’t get raped, they just cry rape to promote their ideology.

-recover from your trauma within the month. otherwise you’re a liar milking the story for sympathy.

-don’t recover from your trauma at all. if it had really happened, you’d be utterly unable to function for the rest of your life.

-don’t fall into any “bad victim” tropes. all real victims behave in exactly the same way, by which i mean that they manage to fulfill all the above criteria at once.

-if all that fails, try being a rape apologist. then some misogynists will believe you, although that belief will be contingent on you never challenging anything they say ever.

Source: samanticshift
rape rape apologia rape tw
samanticshift
smitethepatriarchy

It really actually makes me feel horrible about the world knowing how quickly and easily people will drop support for rape victims the second they find out that the victim didn’t act like they think a victim should act.

If you talk to just about any therapist who specializes in sexual assault, they’ll tell you that people who experience that kind of trauma don’t act “rationally.” Nobody acts normal after a massive trauma, and how long odd behavior lasts depends on many factors. Denial of the reality of what happened is incredibly common, especially when the culture the victim lives in has such fucked up ideas about consent. Memory problems are also very common as the brain desperately tries to protect the victim from what happened. 

But why listen to mental health experts when it’s so much easier to pretend that rape victims are lying through assuming that victims of trauma must act exactly the same as they would have before said trauma.

By the way, the guy accused of rape graduated right along with Emma, even though in his suit he said he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to attend. But his life is ruined, right?

Source: smitethepatriarchy
rape rape tw
geekandmisandry
geekandmisandry

Female victim of rape: *Names her attacker and gives details about her story*

Men: what the? If this story isn’t real then she could ruin his life, why publish this? It’s libel.

Female victim of rape: *Keeps her attackers name secret*

Men: what the? If this story is real then why doesn’t she name names? What is she hiding?

egalitarianenchantress

Well maybe you should try reporting rape to law enforcement who actually have the resources to look into and validate your claims instead of randomly announcing it to a bunch of random dudes.

misandry-mermaid

Oh yes, how could I forget?!  Police are always safe and trustworthy people, they take rape reports so seriously and treat rape victims with immense respect.  Thank you for the thoughtful reminder!

mikeyveit

Ah yes take the statistics of few and blame the whole

geekandmisandry

You seriously trying to take a post about protecting women no matter if they report or not, dismantling the idea that reporting your rape is a guaranteed fix for the situation and turning it into yet another “but not all police are bad”? comments? If you are then you need to assess what the fuck is wrong with you. If someone pointing out issues with the police and the system makes you feel like all cops need to be defended then that is on you, not rape victims.

mikeyveit

Probably becausd I personally know people who have come to me and asked me what to do when they were sexually assualted and I lead them in the right direction, also I know plenty of cops who deal with that stuff all the time, and they take it very seriously..

geekandmisandry

My god you are a piece of shit. You honestly think you are justified in turning this into a “good cops exist!” when we’re talking about victimisation and rape of women versus hurt feelings. I have read every. Single.Comment. from women who have reblogged this who talk openly about their victimisation by the police, how these women said that talking to the police was worse than being raped in the first place. Let that sink in through the layers of your self involvement. 

I have read multiple studies that show between 60-80-% of women experience secondary victimsation and what they would call “the second rape” by police officers who are not trained to deal with rape victims, who ask questions they shouldn’t and who do not support the victims in the way they should.

So spare me your victim blaming, narrow minded, self serving ideas about the “right direction” for rape victims and stick to posting what you know, which is apparently pictures of white guys playing handpans, because you know fuck all about this topic and you are being repulsive enough for me to put your ass in ignore so I never have to see another turd-stream come from your fingertips.

unorthodox-humor

I’m gonna follow him

geekandmisandry

And I’ll block you, it’s the great circle of life.

rape rape tw rape culture
stfangofboredom
bloxs

Men trying to defend rape culture with misogynistic logic. Every time I’ve gotten into a heated argument w/ a man over rape and the autonomy of women, they always use some hypothetical example of a woman being an object to prove their point. “Ok but would you leave a loaded gun unattended/ would you leave a car door unlocked” or some bullshit example like that. It’s like they can’t conceptualise the fact that women are not objects you have access to 24/7. Nor will they acknowledge that men are 100% in control of their fucking actions. And they always sit back looking pleased w/ themselves after making these weak points like they just said something groundbreaking. I want to scream.

rape culture misogyny sexism rape yep